Automobile

New Rolls-Royce Boat Tail Is a Coachbuilt Cruiser With a High-Tech Picnic Basket in the Trunk

Keeping with the theme of “cartoonishly cliche rich person shit,” the Boat Tail also comes with two dashboard timepieces—one for her, one for him—crafted by Bovet 1822 (Google it, you pleb) that can be taken out and worn as watches. Rolls-Royce says the clients are also really big into collecting pens because of course they are and have therefore placed a “particularly cherished” Montblanc pen inside a hand-crafted, aluminum and leather case inside this car’s glove box.

(How hilarious would it be if Mitsubishi slapped a Timex logo on the in-car clock and threw a pack of BIC pens in the glove box of every Mirage or whatever as a “homage” to this?)

While Rolls-Royce hasn’t really said much about what’s underneath *widely gestures with hands* all this, it apparently has the same twin-turbo V12 as every other car Rolls makes. It’s about two feet longer than the Dawn convertible at 228 inches, further solidifying that, yeah, this thing’s a real vessel.

More notable than the Boat Tail itself perhaps, Rolls-Royce is also announcing that its Coachbuild program will become a permanent offering for the company going forward, meaning more bespoke and unnecessary creations like this one are very likely in the pipeline. The first tech bro to commission a Dogecoin-themed Rolls-Royce or anyone with enough gall to ask for a Sea-Doo-branded version of the Boat Tail complete with a chilled two-four of PBR in the back receives all of my admiration and respect.

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