Entertainment

Call me Grinch but it’s way too early for Christmas music and festive films

Me, on the left, just can’t handle this much cheer so early

Is it just the fact summer lasted for two days and winter set in almighty early this year, or are we already being pummelled with Christmas content?

I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact we were well and truly gypped a summer this year, so if you expect me to be bopping to Jingle Bell Rock in October you have another thing coming.

For Saint Nick’s sake, it’s not even Halloween. Let the pumpkin spice lovers have their moment!

Supermarkets have begun stocking their Christmas-tinged fare, in snow-dusted red and green boxes, with mince pies already on the menu and while I’ve not myself heard the jingle of bells out and about in stores (mainly because I don’t go out and about quite as much these days), punters on social media have shared they’re already hearing the festive tunes months before the big day.

And then this week, social media was all aflutter with hilarious takes and jokes on Netflix’s upcoming festive film A Castle For Christmas.

Look, notwithstanding the frankly ridiculous plot I’m sure I’ll come to adore in spite of its WTF-ness in years to come (in which Brooke Shields attempts to buy a castle in Edinburgh from Cary Elwes, who doesn’t want to sell to a foreigner), it’s just offensively early to start pumping my senses full of holiday cheer.

NOT NOW MARIAH (Picture: Columbia)

Call me Ebenezer Scrooge but the earlier I’m surrounded by Christmas the more I despise its very merry-making meaning.

Don’t get me wrong here, I love Christmas. But I love Christmas when it is Christmas. I’m all about getting jolly with the holidays at an appropriate point in the calendar. For example, December.

October is when I celebrate my birthday. The fact I’ve not yet completed my latest spin around the sun and this year instead of Happy Birthday I may just hear All I Want For Christmas Is You just makes me want to crawl into a cave, paint myself green and start stealing everyone’s gifts, which are apparently already being stockpiled unnecessarily.

I appreciate this early dusting of Christmas is, for those who celebrate it, a welcome distraction from an utter crapstorm the past couple years has presented – especially if last year’s lockdown saw you unable to see your friends and family on December 25.

I’m sure on some level there is a necessary psychological re-wiring going on here to make us feel like things are OK and there is a light at the end of the pandemic tunnel; that this way-too-early festive drive-by isn’t at all instead a ploy by advertisers and marketing agencies to shake our pockets empty a month in advance.

There’s enough pandemonium around people panic buying turkeys two-and-a-half months early without adding a backing tune of White Christmas to it, or advertising Brooke Shields’ Scottish real-estate battle.

BBC Radio 6 Music presenter Chris Hawkins previously said he waits til December 1 until he wheels out everyone’s favourite problematic Yuletide classic Fairytale Of New York. He previously added it felt like it’s become a ‘thing’ for shops to start playing Christmas songs earlier and earlier, knowing it will get people talking, which is, according to the DJ, ‘enough to turn you into the Grinch.’

I’ll say.

Hey, should we be right on schedule and it’s merely the past year we’ve had that’s got my head still daydreaming of the previous season that was(n’t) I’ll eat my Santa hat.

But if this isn’t a figment of my imagination that Christmas has come early, I implore the good people at Christmas Inc to pump the breaks just a little and let us catch up with ourselves before singing the year away quite so quickly.

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