Okay, so what is “The Hook” position? How do you do it? Why would you do it? What is even happening here???? Let’s calm down and figure this out together.
How do you do it?
“The Hook position is a remix on the underrated classic that is missionary. The partner that will be receiving the dick or dildo lays on their back and puts their legs over the shoulders of the inserting partner,” patiently explains Goody Howard, resident sexologist for Royal.
Wait….isn’t that just actually missionary?
Yeah, kinda. But a definitely-worth-it improved version. (And, hey now, what’s so bad about missionary?) “Missionary-style positions are often overlooked and even made fun of when it comes to trying out new things in the bedroom, but they’re great for so many reasons!” says Rachel Worthington, writer and researcher at Bedbible.com, speaking some truth. “Versatility, accessibility, and feeling close and connected to your partner are all reasons to love them, and The Hook is no exception.”
What’s in it for you?
It feels So. Very. Deep. “Putting your legs over your partner’s shoulders autocratically creates really deep penetration. “It makes the penis/dildo feel thicker and gives a delicious fuller feeling to the receiving partner. There is more clitoral stimulation if the receiving partner has a vulva,” says Howard.Plus, it’s fairly easy. “Laying on your back is easier than being on top for most women and this position can be extra relaxing for those women who get insecure about performing,” says Nicole Moore, a love and relationship coach. “Without the pressure of being on top, many women who may usually betoo in their heads are able to relax and let go, going deeper into their bodies and able to experience more pleasure.”
What might not work for you and how can you fix that @#$#?
“From my perspective, The Hook is rather heteronormative, focusing on the pleasure of the penis holder,” says Cay Crow, MA, a licensed sex therapist and expert for female and LGBTQ+ friendly Orchard Toys. If you aren’t going to have an orgasm not matter how much someone grinds in/against you (I feel you, sister), you’ll need to make some tweaks. “The Hook is not ideal for clitoral stimulation,” says Crow. “Wearing a hands-free vibrator could help.” She also notes that, like like itself, it comes with a possibly of queefs.
How to make it EXTRA good:
Keep it tight
“Try squeezing your thighs together (or even crossing your ankles behind his head) when your partner is inside you to create heightened sensations for both of you. It will make you feel ‘tighter’ and more pleasurable for them, whilst also giving a greater sense of fullness and deeper penetration for you,” says Worthington.
“For even deeper connection the person on the bottom can raise their hips slightly or rest their hips on a pillow for maximum penetration,” says Tatyana Dyachenko, sex therapist and relationship expert for Peaches and Screams.
“Squeezing these muscles adds a tightening feeling to the penis while offering exquisite pleasure in the vaginal canal,” says Carli Jo Cabrera, a sensuality coach. “If you’re feeling really advanced, try matching your breath to the squeezes. Inhaling on the squeeze, exhaling on release. Inviting your partner to sync their breath to yours creates a deeper, more connected experience.”
If you’re in, here’s how, plus some variations.
The Classic Hook
The receiver gets in missionary then hooks their legs over the penetrator’s shoulders. Voila, you’re doing it! You can have one leg on each side of their neck, both legs on one side or just put your feet on their chest if you’re not having a flexible day.
“If it feels too deep, or you don’t like the feeling of the cock hitting your cervix, ask your partner to stop moving and YOU drive the thrusting motion and how fast/hard/deep it is,” says expert Mags Baker, who helps people of all genders and relationship styles after divorce.
Hook ‘n’ CAT
“Try combining the Hook and Coital Alignment Technique (CAT),” says Worthington. “The CAT is a version of missionary sex where the one doing the penetrating on top moves their pelvis up/forward to grind against the clitoris and vulva. So, rather than trying to close your legs more, take a break from thrusting and open them up to allow your partner access to your clit. You can still keep your legs in the air to get that deeper penetration, but this method may result in some amazing blended orgasms, too.”
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